Gaining Insight

MY OBSESSION WITH OBSESSION

As some of you know, I received my B.S. in biology with intentions of becoming a physician's assistant. At times I wonder what this career would have been like. I know one thing. I would have deeply cared for my patients. However, I am so happy that I was courageous enough to follow my heart and creativity. My interest in science comes from my obsession with how things work. I am always looking for answers or connections. Like putting the peices of a puzzle together. This relates to my outlook on life and how I deal with everyday tasks or situations. I am not a doctor but I do beleive that my personality fits the following:

Obsessive-Compulsive Personality: People with an obsessive-compulsive personality are preoccupied with orderliness, perfectionism, and control. They are reliable, dependable, orderly, and methodical, but their inflexibility makes them unable to adapt to change. Because they are cautious and weigh all aspects of a problem, they have difficulty making decisions (like at the grocery store or with anything). They take their responsibilities seriously, but because they cannot tolerate mistakes or imperfection, they often have trouble completing tasks. Unlike the mental health disorder called obsessive-compulsive disorder, obsessive-compulsive personality does not involve repeated, unwanted obsessions and ritualistic behavior.

People with an obsessive-compulsive personality are often high achievers, especially in the sciences and other intellectually demanding fields that require order and attention to detail. However, their responsibilities make them so anxious that they can rarely enjoy their successes. They are uncomfortable with their feelings, with relationships, and with situations in which they lack control or must rely on others or in which events are unpredictable (like with my brother).

Now I don't want you to think that I need a label for everything. It's just people always made me feel that I was different or strange. I love having this type of personality because it allowed me to do the following:

• Come home every night for six months and create the Gaining Insight Campaign (sometimes staying up until 2 or 3 am when I had work the next day)

• Create my video documentary with a ridiculous deadline (I always love a deadline-keeps me motivated)

• Going directly back to college to study graphic design after studying biology for four years.

• Staring at the ingredients on the sides of food products which usually makes my time at the grocery store endless.

• Worrying about my brother everyday since he came home from Italy with a mental illness (nice souvenir, huh?).

• Coming home from class and rewriting the notes I already took in class once. 

• Not settling for failure in myself.

• Keeping my family together no matter what.

• Worrying that chemicals or plastics could cause cancer (why I eat organic now).

• Not going to bed until I am happy with how a room is designed (this happens a lot since I bought my house).

• Or changing the design of a room 5 or 6 times until I am happy. 

• I am never 100% content with any of my creations, which is why I change things over and over.

• Fight stigma until I see change!

I could go on but you get the idea. All of these things make me unique and good at what I do. I am passionate to the end. I do not work well in groups and am usually not willing to compromise. I am stubborn as they come. I like to challenge the norm, at all times. I do get a lot of my quirks from my father who also seem to have OCD. He has always had rituals and is also very stubborn. Who knows, if I didn't have this personality mixed with my intense empathy, I may not have created this campaign. When my brother became sick, I lost my control. It is the best way to describe how I reacted. I searched and searched for a way to regain this control. I found it in my art. So, PERSONALITY TRAITS, thank you for finding me:)