DAVID BOWIE:
CREATIVE GENIUS AND MENTAL ILLNESS
As a child, I often wondered what attracted me to the arts. I remember filling pages upon pages of sketchbooks in the comfort of my solitude (well, alone my bedroom). I was often teased for listening to classical music starting at the age of 12 but didn't really care. Other times, I would beg my parents to take me to theatrical plays. It was evident that my wandering mind could not be tamed by TV or video games. Instead, I would conjure up some sort of script or variety show which my siblings to bring to life. And yes, I have been called WEIRD more times that I can count.

One task I always find difficult is trying to turn my mind OFF. To this day, I still have this intense need to create at ALL times (sewing, painting, directing, drawing, designing (interior/graphic/textile), the list goes on). Some may view creativity as a blessing but trust me, it can be a curse. If I sit for too long, I feel like I am a failure...unproductive. As soon as I saw a genetic link between mental illness and my family, I began to understand why my own mind would not rest.

While researching for a documentary, I have yet to finish, I discovered how many artists are haunted by the same genetic link to mental illness. I understand their need to release pain/creativity through various forms of art. As soon as my brother became ill and fear of the unknown was looming, I turned to art & design to make my mind calm again. You can see/hear the result here. David Bowie (one of my idols) has stated that there is a strong link to mental illness within his family. The following are a few facts to support this claim:

“David’s mother, Peggy, a former cinema usher, was more colorful. According to several reliable witnesses and institutional records, there was more than a streak of mental instability in her family. Bowie’s Aunt Una suffered from clinical depression and schizophrenia, underwent electric shock treatment and died in her late 30s. A second aunt, Vivienne, suffered a schizophrenic attack, and a third, Nora, was lobotomized in an effort to cure what her mother described as ‘bad nerves’.

Unfortunately, the family “condition”, as it was known, was again at work. In his mid-20s, Terry, David's half brother, was diagnosed as a manic depressive and schizophrenic, and was eventually institutionalized. One snowy morning in January 1985, he climbed over the wall of a psychiatric hospital in Surrey and walked to the nearby station, where he lay down on the track directly in the path of the oncoming London express train.

Terry was 47. David didn’t attend the funeral but sent a wreath of roses and a card which read: “You’ve seen more things than we could imagine but all these moments will be lost, like tears washed away by the rain. God bless you - David.”

Eight years later Bowie admitted: “It scared me. I felt my own mind was in question. I often wondered how near the line I was going - how far I should push myself.” Ziggy and the other characters, he explained, had been “alternative egos”, a form of madness through which he had meant to preserve his sanity. David Bowie never crossed the divide into mental illness. But he shared a number of the quirks shown by his maternal family. He would suddenly burst into tears, for example, and was said to have had a particularly active imagination. One family friend told me that, as a four or five-year-old, David had phoned to summon the local ambulance one night, and successfully persuaded the operator that he was “dying”.

That Bowie was conscious of his heritage seems obvious from the number of songs he wrote touching on lunacy or schizophrenia. Of the Oh! You Pretty Things lyrics, Bowie said: “I hadn’t been to an analyst - my parents went, my brothers and sisters and my aunts and uncles and cousins, they did that. They ended up in a much worse state. I thought I’d write my problems out.”

I am in no way trying to comparing my artistic talents to that of Bowie but think it is interesting how creativity may be genetically linked to mental illness. When it comes to the illness, I guess I will always wonder why statistics chose my brother instead of me. If I could take even part of this from him, I would.

NOTHING TO GLEE ABOUT
NAMI's Monthly Stigma Buster alerted me of the following:

Fox Television's Emmy-winning musical comedy, Glee, stepped into stigma for its November 16 episode, entitled "The Substitute", which mocked and trivialized bipolar disorder--and included imaginary violence as humor.

Actress Gwyneth Paltrow, as substitute teacher Holly Holliday, played Mary Todd Lincoln- wife of Abraham Lincoln- as part of a history lesson. In the video link (above), the short scene begins at the 39:10 minute mark. The transcript and dialogue reads:
Holly Holliday is standing at the front of class room dressed in 19th century clothing, lecturing to a high school class.

Holly Holliday: Mary Todd Lincoln in the house! My husband was probably gay and I'm bipolar, which makes me yell things like [pointing to a teapot], 'That teapot is spreading lies about me! Or, that can't be my baby because I don't love it! [throws imaginary baby over shoulder]
Mr. Schuester knocks on the door and asks Holly Holliday to speak with him for a moment.
Holly Holliday: Guys, practice your bipolar rants. See, history can be fun!

Please contact Fox TV and the director of the episode to express disappointment with the scene. Mental illness is not a joke. Would the show have included a scene that played AIDS or cancer for laughs?

Glee has enormous power to influence young people who constitute much of the show's audience-and for whom suicide is the third-leading cause of death. Ask the show to make amends by producing episodes that deal with mental illness accurately and compassionately and include themes of recovery.

Fox TV: Email address for comments on shows
Ryan Murphy (Glee creator, director, writer): 
Ryan Murphy Productions 
5555 Melrose Ave 
Chevalier Bldg. 
Los Angeles, CA 90038 
Phone: 323-956-5000 
Fax: 323-862-2121

DR. DREW PINSKI:
EXPLOITER OR STIGMA FIGHTER?
What should one think of a doctor who opts to treat his patients in front of America instead of in the privacy of his office? I wonder how a doctor could throw ethics and confidentiality out the window in order to increase ratings. Of course, I am talking about the now famous, Dr. Drew Pinsky.

I first heard about Dr. Drew while watching MTV's "Loveline" (the show began in 1983 but still airs on radio). Back in the 90's Dr. Drew used his expertise to answer questions from America's youth. These questions usually centered around relationships, sexuality, drug addiction, etc. I found the show to be interesting because complete strangers would divulge their personal issues for everyone to hear. I guess you could say it was the beginning of reality TV for me. However, it wasn't until "Celebrity Rehab" hit the air waves that I really began to pay attention.

"Celebrity Rehab" began around the time my brother was being immersed into a sea of his own psychiatrists, case managers, nurses, doctors, therapists, etc. I found myself watching because part of me wondered what it must be like for my brother to work on his own recovery one on one with a psychiatrist. But, the other part of me couldn't stop questioning Dr. Drew's motives for the show. Was he exploiting these celebrities to increase his own celebrity? Or was he really trying to show America that it was OK to seek treatment? Stigma is one of the main reasons why individuals will avoid treatment. The media has done a very good job of exploiting mental illness so it is only natural to deny that you may need professional help. In a way, I was glad that finally, someone was showing America first hand, that mental health should never be viewed as black and white. You can't just slap on a band aid and hope for the best. There are far too many layers for a doctor to pull away in order to deal with the root of a mental health issue.

The problem with our society is that we view mental illness as a weakness or flaw when in fact it takes lots of courage, many years of treatment and a deep personal discovery in order to reach recovery. At times, some of these real life situations are a matter of life and death. But it is good for those who are "unaware" to understand the severity of these cases. This will inspire understanding and empathy.

Dr. Drew recently said in an interview that people question his motives since the show falls under the category of "reality TV". In hind sight, he thinks he should have styled the show as a documentary. Maybe then, the "stigma" surrounding reality TV wouldn't cloud judgment or cause people to question his motives. These are small yet necessary steps towards acceptance. The more we discuss these issues the better we will become at combating exploitative media. Freedom of speech needs to be used as a tool to educate, not as a tool for the media to shove fear and horror down our throats. Just another reason why I won't watch the news. Always consumed with the negative. We must surround ourselves with positivity in order to inspire positivity.

THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT
I had no idea that a little post on my employer's blog would call attention from those around the globe. If interested, check out this link for my boss' take on my little project. The comments just remind me that these illnesses can impact individuals of any creed, race, etc.

On another positive note, my brother has been out of the hospital for almost a year now. It may have taken a while to reach stability, but he has come a long way. It may sound odd, but last week was the first time he actually talked to me and ASKED ME questions for a change:) He hasn't really talked to any of his siblings in almost 12 months. I hope people do not take these little things for granted with their own loved ones. With most other illnesses, you may always wonder the outcome, but you rarely loose your connections with the person when he/she is right there in front of you. It is almost like the person is gone emotionally but there physically. Like a walking coma. I cherish these few moments of solace with my brother. It makes me feel like he is at peace and that is more important than anything. Hope to be back soon with some more meaningful and thought provoking blog posts.

FIGHTING THE STIGMA ONE STEP AT A TIME

The two emails below give you an idea of how my "Gaining Insight Campaign" continues to surprise me:

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Hi Amber,

Our Mental Illness Awareness Week has concluded and I wanted to write and tell you what an impact your video had on the people who viewed it. We were unable to secure a speaker for our candlelight vigil, so we opted to show your video to the group instead. There were a couple of people attending who suffer from schizophrenia and I think it may have had the biggest impact on them. Seeing themselves portrayed as people of strength and courage instead of people needing to be medicated and pitied surely gave them a much needed sense of pride. I congratulate and thank you for that. All the others that watched the video were very moved and quite surprised at many of the statistics. We were unable to show the video at the art exhibit - the setting wasn't right. However, we were able to show it at our NAMI Family-to-Family Class that week. It so happened to fall during the week we were doing our "empathy" workshop, which made it fit in quite nicely. Everyone was very impressed and everyone wanted your website address!
 

 
We plan to use this video again in May during Mental Health Month and hope to have a showing at the library and invite either a psychiatrist or mental health worker to speak. I'd also like to get a copy of the video that is online on your website. The one that shows each of your pieces and the narrative that describes what each one represents. Could I possibly get that from you? I'd be happy to pay the shipping charges, just let me know how much and I'll mail you a check.
 

 
Thank you again for sharing your beautiful artwork - it makes such a powerful statement and all of us who are in this fight to break stigma and educate the public about mental illnesses appreciate everything you're doing.
 

 
NAMI Mobile Alabama

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Dear Amber,
 
My name is … with the McGovern Institute for Brain Research at MIT (web link here). This month, we are celebrating our tenth anniversary. At this event, our director, Robert Desimone, will give a talk to a large audience about our mission to understand the brain in health and disease. I have been looking for compelling images to illustrate the gravity of psychiatric illnesses such as schizophrenia and I came across your very moving gallery on gaining-insight.com.
 
 
 
Would you possibly be willing/interested in giving us permission to use your 'psychiatric' painting image in Robert Desimone's talk? Thanks very much and I look forward to hearing back from you.

McGovern Institute for Brain Research at MIT: Understanding the Brain in Health and Disease

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FIGHTING STIGMA IN THE CLASSROOM

So much to write about but no time to do it :( Still searching for balance while I juggle a new baby, work and well, life! Of course baby comes first, so I apologize for the lack of posts. However, I seem to be getting closer to my dream of fight stigma in the classroom. I received a wonderful email from a publishing company in Australia. They contacted me to ask permission to use the poster (to the left) in a school textbook titled VCE Psychology Units 3 & 4, 4th edition. I was so honored that I had to say yes. To top it off, this poster will be printed in 50,000 textbooks. To think that my little poster could make an impact on students...I am beyond trilled!

In lieu of compensation, I asked the publishing company if they could donate to a mental health charity. They graciously donated $100 to Australia's Sane.org. "SANE Australia is a national charity working for a better life for people affected by mental illness – through campaigning, education and research." If you have a chance, check

out their site. This organization continues to do so much for the

mental health community in Australia. Also, thank you to all my readers who voted and made my blog a top ten blog (see award in right hand column). This will inspire me to keep on blogging!

MEL GIBSON: JUST ANOTHER STATISTIC

As soon as I heard about Mel Gibson's disturbing phone recordings, I was reminded of the statistic that 1 in 4 people are affected by a mental illness (most without even knowing). I then read the following article. I wonder how many other Mel's are out.

Now I am not here to diagnose Mel, but his seemingly off balanced demeanor forces me to look further at the people I have met over the years. I have encountered many people with obvious personality and/or mental flaws (myself included). I am not using the word "flaw" in a negative way, rather to show that something was a bit off or bothering the person. Some of these people I am related to. After my brother became sick, it forced me to evaluate whether there was more undiagnosed illness running in the family. What makes me sad is that most people with paranoid thoughts are so quick to point the finger that they won't detect any imbalance within themselves.

Some family feuds are fueled by mental instability (no matter how small or large the imbalance). Others have attributed there rocky upbringing to undiagnosed mental illness within the family. To this day, I avoid confrontation because I am reminded of the fights that occurred while growing up. Then my OCD kicks in. It causes me to overanalyze things (or find a solution to a problem). I would act as the mediator and attempt to fix the family. This can take a toll on a person. You feel like you are carrying 1,000 pounds of crap that you do not own. So I am trying to accept that not every problem has a solution.

My energy will be spent on raising my child in a home where he feels safe and secure. He will not carry my burden. But I do hope that in the future, these less severe forms of mental illness can be detected by the individual. It takes a lot of courage to evaluate one's self and even more courage to seek help. We can encourage mental health by increasing awareness (and empathy). Thank you for taking to time to sample a rambling mind.

Thought I should post a response I made after reading Amanda's comment (since it relates to the above post): "Amanda...Very well said!! I agree that many are passed off as eccentric. People should look at mental illness in a positive light. Many famous people may not be famous if it wasn't for a metal imbalance. Howard Hughes may not have been as successful with a "NORMAL" mind. If we don't say the words MENTAL ILLNESS or give it a label, then we will never strip away the stigma, thus, the discrimination will continue. I love those who are different/eccentric. They push the boundaries or what we THINK is normal!"