SARATOGA COUNTY AGING AND DISABILITY NETWORK MEETING

The following is an article I wrote for the Saratoga Citizen's Committee for Mental Health's biannual newsletter. After speaking at the Saratoga County Aging and Disability Network meeting, I was asked to summarize my experience (I've served as a SCCCMH board member for three years):

As an advocate for mental health awareness, I'm appreciative of any opportunity that comes my way. Having been involved with the Saratoga Community Citizen's Committee for Mental Health for three years, I'm able to advocate on a local level. Thanks to our dedicated president, Peggy Lounsbury, I was selected to speak at the Saratoga County Aging and Disability Network meeting (spring 2011). Their mission, “To promote community awareness of the programs and services available to Saratoga County residents who are aging and/or disabled, and their caregivers, so as to better meet the needs of these ever increasing populations.” But I had to ask the question. How could a mental health advocate contribute to their mission? It was an eye opening experience, to say the least. My view of recovery was reinforced. My brother was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia over five years ago. Society needs to understand that the act of overcoming this type of disability is what makes my brother (along with many others) a true inspiration.

Most people develop mental illness during their 20's-30's. My speech would focus on how disability impacts the life of a rather unassuming, young adult. I also described to the group how sudden onset of this disease can impact an entire family.

My brother's first brush with psychosis occurred while studying abroad, during his last semester of college. Up until that point, his future was bright. He could do almost anything he set his mind to. With four sisters, my brother was the last male to carry on the family name. To say that we had expectations would be an understatement. Not only was he highly intelligent, but extremely kind to others. We still ask ourselves, did we miss the warning signs? Could we have prevented this from happening? It took a long time to accept reality. In the end, we came to realize that no one could predict my brother's fate.

I pointed out that this type of disability did not result from a gradual progression. For many, an acute psychotic break is the equivalent to hitting a brick wall. Reality is lost or at the very least, left hanging by a thread. How could such a delightful young man be robbed of the most promising chapter in his life? How can a 21 year old be forced to live on Medicaid and SSI? My empathy has always run very deep. I still recall a time when my brother refused to take a volunteer position at the local vet. He was embarrassed. He said, "what will they say when they see I have a BS degree in political science?" My heart sank. It must be very difficult to swallow your pride, time and time again.

A decrease in normal function has so much to do with what are called negative symptoms. "They commonly include flat or blunted affect and emotion, poverty of speech (alogia), inability to experience pleasure (anhedonia), lack of desire to form relationships (asociality), and lack of motivation (avolition). Research suggests that negative symptoms contribute more to poor quality of life, functional disability, and the burden on others than do positive symptoms." (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizophrenia)

There are very few illnesses which decrease overall function at such a young age. In order to reinforce this message, I played an 8 minute video which illustrates the road to recovery, with the help of my artwork. The negative portrayal of mental illness in the media only reinforces shame and fear. Could you imagine being silenced by stigma? All while you battle an invisible, yet consuming disability. The courage required to reach recovery is unlike anything I've ever seen.

When my presentation ended, I was surprised by the applause, and the questions. I thank Peggy and the Saratoga County Aging and Disability Network for allowing me to speak about a topic that is very close to my heart. They have given me hope that, with a little inspiration, society can embrace those who are less fortunate. Now, more than ever, I am convinced that self expression could make this world a better place, and heal a sister who was overcome with grief. My brother may be viewed as disabled but he has enabled so many to replace fear with empathy and shame with courage.

www.gaining-insight.com

BUT I HATE POLITICS
Politics have forever been an enigma in my mind. That was until I came face to face with severe mental illness within my family. There is simply no way around government when it comes to the services and programs offered for those with mental illness. "Medicaid currently pays for about half of all public mental health services in the U.S. but Congress is threatening to slash funding by billions." That statement alone drove me to contact US senators and Representatives to vent my frustrations. Budget cuts continue to caused so many programs to suffer. In a world where talk is cheap, I couldn't sit back and get angry. I did something. Below is a letter I received from NY Congressman Chris Gibson. Make your voice heard!

July 20, 2011

Dear Mrs. Osterhout,

Thank you for contacting me regarding the debt limit and its impact on entitlement spending. It is good to hear from you.

The President has asked Congress to increase the statutory debt limit from $14.294 trillion to $16.7 trillion. Simply put, this will give the federal government the authority to borrow more. It is important to note that an increase in the debt ceiling is not an increase in new spending. We have already spent this money, and now it is our responsibility to pay for the debt we have accrued. Just as individuals make mortgage payments to pay off the debt on their homes, the government must make payments to pay off its debt. I believe all Americans have an obligation to contribute funds to cover the federal government's expenses, which is why I voted for a budget proposal that would close tax loopholes and ensure individuals and corporations alike are paying their fair share.

One of the reasons I came to Washington was to combat wasteful spending and the idea that taxpayers' pockets can be treated as endless coffers. That being said, failure to eventually raise the debt ceiling will result in the default of the federal government due to the inability of the Department of Treasury to service our debt payments. In addition, defaulting would likely lead to an increase in interest on our debt, which would, in turn, further increase our massive debt and deficit. Despite my extreme disappointment with the state of our nation's fiscal status, I recognize the need to eventually increase the debt ceiling. However, I am unwilling to vote for such an increase unless it is coupled with significant spending reductions and structural reforms that prove to the American people that Congress is ready to be a responsible caretaker of their tax dollars.

While I am eager to find ways to reduce federal spending, I do not believe Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid cuts to current beneficiaries should be a part of negotiations regarding the debt ceiling increase. I am, and always have been, a strong proponent of these programs. My family, friends and neighbors are recipients, and I understand fully how many folks rely on these benefits to subsist. Those currently receiving benefits have paid into these programs their whole lives with the promise of future benefits. If the government fails to provide those benefits in full, it would be reneging on its promise.

Thus, I was please to support H.R. 2560, the Cut, Cap, and Balance Act, which raised the nation's debt limit when combined with $111 billion in immediate spending cuts, mandatory caps on spending over the next decade tied to gross domestic product (GDP) levels, and the passage of a balanced budget amendment. Our nation is at a crossroads and so far the President and Congress have failed to come to an agreement on how we can increase our debt limit while ensuring we make responsible choices for our future. It became necessary for the House to act and the Cut, Cap, and Balance Act passed the House by a vote of 234-190 on July 19, 2011. Importantly, it makes absolutely no changes to Medicare, Social Security, or Veterans Benefits, and leave open the option of significant cuts in defense spending in future years to bring our budget into balance.

Moving forward, our nation's entitlement programs are facing a severe funding crisis. I look forward to working with my colleagues on both sides of the aisle to reform these programs and ensure their long-term solvency. Medicare and Social Security, along with Medicaid, made up almost 50 percent of all mandatory spending in Fiscal Year 2010, and this share is projected to continue to rise until 2037, when the Congressional Budget Office (CBO) expects complete insolvency not only in these three programs, but also in the whole federal government due to their complete takeover of all spending.

Although we face significant challenges, if we make the right choices, our best days are still in front of us. We need pro-growth, fiscally responsible policies that facilitate job creation and balanced budgets while protecting Medicare and Social Security. As your representative, I will continue to fight for these priorities in Congress.

Thank you again for contacting me with your thoughts, it is always good to hear from my constituents. Your input helps me make informed policy decisions. Please do not hesitate to inform me of your concerns in the future through my website http://gibson.house.gov or over the phone at (202) 225-5614.

Sincerely,
Chris Gibson
Member of Congress

SUPPORT CAN BE THE BEST FORM OF INSPIRATION

Every so often I receive email from art students. Though I never intended to inspire anyone artistically with the Gaining Insight campaign, it does give my work a little more purpose. Creating the campaign was simply a visceral response to the flurry of emotion I experienced when my brother first became sick. I also never expected to receive email from those who are silenced by stigma or from family members who floundering in sea of emotion. Thank you all for seeing a need to educate others about a topic, most often, swept under the rug. We can all inspire empathy and courage by speaking out. The following is from an art student in the UK:

" Hello, My name is _ and I am currently studying A level art at Colston's in Bristol, UK. I am really interested in the paintings you have created on gaining insight and I especially love the way in which you blend the colours into each other. In your painting Psychosis, I really like how the face is blended into the trouser leg, as if it is a part of him. Also your use of colour and painting technique is beautiful and very inspiring. For my project I am looking at schizophrenia and mental illness and I would really love to ask you some questions if you have some time. I have to look at one particular artist for the project and I am extremely excited to use you as my inspiration for my work. I hope to hear back from you,"

MENTAL HEALTH AND PRISON:

TWO SYSTEMS WITH SO MANY CRACKS

After reading a few insightful articles (posted by fellow advocate-Bob) I had this nagging feeling to delve into a very complex topic: the rise of mentally ill inmates in prison. In fact, this statistic has quadrupled in the past 6 years alone. Some chilling facts:

• 70% of jail inmates with mental illness are there for NONVIOLENT offenses.

• More than 16% of jail inmates have mental illness (at the end of 2000, nearly 1 million individuals with mental illness were in the criminal justice system).

To learn more about the facts above, check out this link. What's even more shocking is how many inmates are not receiving proper treatment for the severe mental disorders such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and major depression. I will use an empathetic example to put this into perspective. Imagine a loved one who has or had a very serious illness (of any kind). Now imagine if your loved one was forced into a cell with no chance of treatment. This would further intensify the illness and at times lead to death.

The following link details 10 of the Most Misunderstood Mental Health Disorders. "Even though doctors and researchers have made huge strides in their understanding and treatment of mental health disorders, there is still much more to be learned and shared about these complex conditions." (Thank you Christine for the previous link) This lack of understanding infiltrates the prison system thus causing a very large problem that sucks our tax paying dollars down the drain. My fellow advocate, Bob, had a very novel concept, to rethink the prison system all together and put much more money into the mental health system (which right now, has funding cut left and right). Since deinstitutionalization, we NEED a mental health system that truly cares about those affected instead of viewing them as flawed, expendable individuals.

The following addresses mental health funding cuts in more detail. "The National Association of State Mental Health Program Directors estimates that at least $2.1 billion has been cut from state mental health budgets in the last three fiscal years. Adult day treatment centers have been shuttered; subsidies for outpatient counseling, medications and family support services have dried up; case managers have been laid off; and more than 4,000 beds in psychiatric hospitals have closed, according to Michael J. Fitzpatrick, executive director of the National Alliance on Mental Illness. The fiscal squeeze has highlighted the inadequacy of community services to accommodate deinstitutionalization, and waiting lists have grown steadily in many states." Learn more here.

I want you to put yourself in the position of prisoner when reading the following. "Yet across the nation, many prison mental health services are woefully deficient, crippled by understaffing, insufficient facilities, and limited programs. All too often seriously ill prisoners receive little or no meaningful treatment. They are neglected, accused of malingering, treated as disciplinary problems. Without the necessary care, mentally ill prisoners suffer painful symptoms and their conditions can deteriorate. They are afflicted with delusions and hallucinations, debilitating fears, extreme and uncontrollable mood swings. They huddle silently in their cells, mumble incoherently, or yell incessantly. They refuse to obey orders or lash out without apparent provocation. They beat their heads against cell walls, smear themselves with feces, self-mutilate, and commit suicide...Prisons were never intended as facilities for the mentally ill, yet that is one of their primary roles today. Many of the men and women who cannot get mental health treatment in the community are swept into the criminal justice system after they commit a crime. In the United States, there are three times more mentally ill people in prisons than in mental health hospitals..." Learn more here.

And finally, a very well written paper by a Harvard student addressing the violation of basic civil rights of the imprisoned mentally ill.

I actually started to tear up as I read some of these articles because I think of the millions who DID NOT ask to be burdened with severe, debilitating illness yet, they are forced to pay for it. I will not stop until there is understanding, even if it takes an entire lifetime before I see progress. Some say I have too much empathy but how could you not be haunted by the blatant disregard for human life? Those who will spend 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year trying to keep a chronic illness under control, with little support from the general public. I can tell you that a person with severe mental illness will endure and conquer more in a lifetime in order to gain back any self respect or dignity that he/she once had. We are looking at one of the oldest stigmas known to man and something has to change. Thank you!

A DREAM FINALLY COMING TO FRUITION

I can not begin to describe the excitement I am feeling after receiving some fantastic news. I am a board member on the Saratoga Community Citizen's Committee for Mental Health. Being involved with my community has been so rewarding. I have met so many people who have contributed their time and expertise in the realm of mental health. The president of our board has made it possible for me to connect with local school superintendents so I can discuss my plans to educate high school students about the stigma surrounding mental illness. I have envisioned this for a long time but now it is finally happening. I have to brainstorm my presentation but thankfully I have so much to show them. I have worked really hard during the past 5 years to create film/art/design in attempt to replace shame with courage and fear with empathy. If I can help one student detect mental illness in his/her self, friend, mother, father, sibling, college roommate then I have done my job. People tell me that mental illness has to hit close to home in order to fully understand it, but I disagree. Most mental illness goes undiagnosed (1/4 people will experience a mental health issue in their lifetime). We have a chance to inspire hope with the next generation. I can't wait to keep you all posted on my progress. Wish me luck!!!

PREVENTING THE INEVITABLE

As a mother with a history of mental illness in the family, it's only natural to wonder why these illnesses develop. A lot of my beliefs are based on science/facts. I truly believe that we can prevent disease with knowledge, nutrition and nurturing. I may be neurotic about a lot of things but being pregnant places a lot of responsibility on the mother. When it comes to having a genetic link to mental illness is your family, you must make sure you are getting enough vitamin D, DHA and (on the horizon) choline. All beneficial to building a healthy fetal brain. You must also understand how environment plays a part in developing the illness. I think that a lot of the choices we make can trigger all sorts of outcomes. I encourage you to read this very interesting article about clues to preventing schizophrenia. Fascinating!

MOVIES THAT INSPIRE UNDERSTANDING

Every so often a movie comes along and captures mental illness in its most honest and realistic form (something I plan to do with my own documentary). It is necessary for the public to understand the reality of mental illness in order to eliminate stereotypes/discrimination. However, for every one true film their are countless others that hinder recovery and understanding. By fueling stigma through media, we create more damage than entertainment. Below are two trailers that I hope will urge you to watch each film in their entirety. Both films are about two artists with mental illness: The Devil and Daniel Johnston and My name is Alan and I Paint Pictures. I am grateful for the courageous individuals who not only fight a battle from within but try to combat stigma by inspiring hope. May their strength inspire others to come forward and share their own story. (Pretty ironic that Cobain is wearing a Daniel Johnston shirt in photo below since both may have/had bipolar disorder.)

DAVID BOWIE:
CREATIVE GENIUS AND MENTAL ILLNESS
As a child, I often wondered what attracted me to the arts. I remember filling pages upon pages of sketchbooks in the comfort of my solitude (well, alone my bedroom). I was often teased for listening to classical music starting at the age of 12 but didn't really care. Other times, I would beg my parents to take me to theatrical plays. It was evident that my wandering mind could not be tamed by TV or video games. Instead, I would conjure up some sort of script or variety show which my siblings to bring to life. And yes, I have been called WEIRD more times that I can count.

One task I always find difficult is trying to turn my mind OFF. To this day, I still have this intense need to create at ALL times (sewing, painting, directing, drawing, designing (interior/graphic/textile), the list goes on). Some may view creativity as a blessing but trust me, it can be a curse. If I sit for too long, I feel like I am a failure...unproductive. As soon as I saw a genetic link between mental illness and my family, I began to understand why my own mind would not rest.

While researching for a documentary, I have yet to finish, I discovered how many artists are haunted by the same genetic link to mental illness. I understand their need to release pain/creativity through various forms of art. As soon as my brother became ill and fear of the unknown was looming, I turned to art & design to make my mind calm again. You can see/hear the result here. David Bowie (one of my idols) has stated that there is a strong link to mental illness within his family. The following are a few facts to support this claim:

“David’s mother, Peggy, a former cinema usher, was more colorful. According to several reliable witnesses and institutional records, there was more than a streak of mental instability in her family. Bowie’s Aunt Una suffered from clinical depression and schizophrenia, underwent electric shock treatment and died in her late 30s. A second aunt, Vivienne, suffered a schizophrenic attack, and a third, Nora, was lobotomized in an effort to cure what her mother described as ‘bad nerves’.

Unfortunately, the family “condition”, as it was known, was again at work. In his mid-20s, Terry, David's half brother, was diagnosed as a manic depressive and schizophrenic, and was eventually institutionalized. One snowy morning in January 1985, he climbed over the wall of a psychiatric hospital in Surrey and walked to the nearby station, where he lay down on the track directly in the path of the oncoming London express train.

Terry was 47. David didn’t attend the funeral but sent a wreath of roses and a card which read: “You’ve seen more things than we could imagine but all these moments will be lost, like tears washed away by the rain. God bless you - David.”

Eight years later Bowie admitted: “It scared me. I felt my own mind was in question. I often wondered how near the line I was going - how far I should push myself.” Ziggy and the other characters, he explained, had been “alternative egos”, a form of madness through which he had meant to preserve his sanity. David Bowie never crossed the divide into mental illness. But he shared a number of the quirks shown by his maternal family. He would suddenly burst into tears, for example, and was said to have had a particularly active imagination. One family friend told me that, as a four or five-year-old, David had phoned to summon the local ambulance one night, and successfully persuaded the operator that he was “dying”.

That Bowie was conscious of his heritage seems obvious from the number of songs he wrote touching on lunacy or schizophrenia. Of the Oh! You Pretty Things lyrics, Bowie said: “I hadn’t been to an analyst - my parents went, my brothers and sisters and my aunts and uncles and cousins, they did that. They ended up in a much worse state. I thought I’d write my problems out.”

I am in no way trying to comparing my artistic talents to that of Bowie but think it is interesting how creativity may be genetically linked to mental illness. When it comes to the illness, I guess I will always wonder why statistics chose my brother instead of me. If I could take even part of this from him, I would.

NOTHING TO GLEE ABOUT
NAMI's Monthly Stigma Buster alerted me of the following:

Fox Television's Emmy-winning musical comedy, Glee, stepped into stigma for its November 16 episode, entitled "The Substitute", which mocked and trivialized bipolar disorder--and included imaginary violence as humor.

Actress Gwyneth Paltrow, as substitute teacher Holly Holliday, played Mary Todd Lincoln- wife of Abraham Lincoln- as part of a history lesson. In the video link (above), the short scene begins at the 39:10 minute mark. The transcript and dialogue reads:
Holly Holliday is standing at the front of class room dressed in 19th century clothing, lecturing to a high school class.

Holly Holliday: Mary Todd Lincoln in the house! My husband was probably gay and I'm bipolar, which makes me yell things like [pointing to a teapot], 'That teapot is spreading lies about me! Or, that can't be my baby because I don't love it! [throws imaginary baby over shoulder]
Mr. Schuester knocks on the door and asks Holly Holliday to speak with him for a moment.
Holly Holliday: Guys, practice your bipolar rants. See, history can be fun!

Please contact Fox TV and the director of the episode to express disappointment with the scene. Mental illness is not a joke. Would the show have included a scene that played AIDS or cancer for laughs?

Glee has enormous power to influence young people who constitute much of the show's audience-and for whom suicide is the third-leading cause of death. Ask the show to make amends by producing episodes that deal with mental illness accurately and compassionately and include themes of recovery.

Fox TV: Email address for comments on shows
Ryan Murphy (Glee creator, director, writer): 
Ryan Murphy Productions 
5555 Melrose Ave 
Chevalier Bldg. 
Los Angeles, CA 90038 
Phone: 323-956-5000 
Fax: 323-862-2121

DR. DREW PINSKI:
EXPLOITER OR STIGMA FIGHTER?
What should one think of a doctor who opts to treat his patients in front of America instead of in the privacy of his office? I wonder how a doctor could throw ethics and confidentiality out the window in order to increase ratings. Of course, I am talking about the now famous, Dr. Drew Pinsky.

I first heard about Dr. Drew while watching MTV's "Loveline" (the show began in 1983 but still airs on radio). Back in the 90's Dr. Drew used his expertise to answer questions from America's youth. These questions usually centered around relationships, sexuality, drug addiction, etc. I found the show to be interesting because complete strangers would divulge their personal issues for everyone to hear. I guess you could say it was the beginning of reality TV for me. However, it wasn't until "Celebrity Rehab" hit the air waves that I really began to pay attention.

"Celebrity Rehab" began around the time my brother was being immersed into a sea of his own psychiatrists, case managers, nurses, doctors, therapists, etc. I found myself watching because part of me wondered what it must be like for my brother to work on his own recovery one on one with a psychiatrist. But, the other part of me couldn't stop questioning Dr. Drew's motives for the show. Was he exploiting these celebrities to increase his own celebrity? Or was he really trying to show America that it was OK to seek treatment? Stigma is one of the main reasons why individuals will avoid treatment. The media has done a very good job of exploiting mental illness so it is only natural to deny that you may need professional help. In a way, I was glad that finally, someone was showing America first hand, that mental health should never be viewed as black and white. You can't just slap on a band aid and hope for the best. There are far too many layers for a doctor to pull away in order to deal with the root of a mental health issue.

The problem with our society is that we view mental illness as a weakness or flaw when in fact it takes lots of courage, many years of treatment and a deep personal discovery in order to reach recovery. At times, some of these real life situations are a matter of life and death. But it is good for those who are "unaware" to understand the severity of these cases. This will inspire understanding and empathy.

Dr. Drew recently said in an interview that people question his motives since the show falls under the category of "reality TV". In hind sight, he thinks he should have styled the show as a documentary. Maybe then, the "stigma" surrounding reality TV wouldn't cloud judgment or cause people to question his motives. These are small yet necessary steps towards acceptance. The more we discuss these issues the better we will become at combating exploitative media. Freedom of speech needs to be used as a tool to educate, not as a tool for the media to shove fear and horror down our throats. Just another reason why I won't watch the news. Always consumed with the negative. We must surround ourselves with positivity in order to inspire positivity.

THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT
I had no idea that a little post on my employer's blog would call attention from those around the globe. If interested, check out this link for my boss' take on my little project. The comments just remind me that these illnesses can impact individuals of any creed, race, etc.

On another positive note, my brother has been out of the hospital for almost a year now. It may have taken a while to reach stability, but he has come a long way. It may sound odd, but last week was the first time he actually talked to me and ASKED ME questions for a change:) He hasn't really talked to any of his siblings in almost 12 months. I hope people do not take these little things for granted with their own loved ones. With most other illnesses, you may always wonder the outcome, but you rarely loose your connections with the person when he/she is right there in front of you. It is almost like the person is gone emotionally but there physically. Like a walking coma. I cherish these few moments of solace with my brother. It makes me feel like he is at peace and that is more important than anything. Hope to be back soon with some more meaningful and thought provoking blog posts.

FIGHTING THE STIGMA ONE STEP AT A TIME

The two emails below give you an idea of how my "Gaining Insight Campaign" continues to surprise me:

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Hi Amber,

Our Mental Illness Awareness Week has concluded and I wanted to write and tell you what an impact your video had on the people who viewed it. We were unable to secure a speaker for our candlelight vigil, so we opted to show your video to the group instead. There were a couple of people attending who suffer from schizophrenia and I think it may have had the biggest impact on them. Seeing themselves portrayed as people of strength and courage instead of people needing to be medicated and pitied surely gave them a much needed sense of pride. I congratulate and thank you for that. All the others that watched the video were very moved and quite surprised at many of the statistics. We were unable to show the video at the art exhibit - the setting wasn't right. However, we were able to show it at our NAMI Family-to-Family Class that week. It so happened to fall during the week we were doing our "empathy" workshop, which made it fit in quite nicely. Everyone was very impressed and everyone wanted your website address!
 

 
We plan to use this video again in May during Mental Health Month and hope to have a showing at the library and invite either a psychiatrist or mental health worker to speak. I'd also like to get a copy of the video that is online on your website. The one that shows each of your pieces and the narrative that describes what each one represents. Could I possibly get that from you? I'd be happy to pay the shipping charges, just let me know how much and I'll mail you a check.
 

 
Thank you again for sharing your beautiful artwork - it makes such a powerful statement and all of us who are in this fight to break stigma and educate the public about mental illnesses appreciate everything you're doing.
 

 
NAMI Mobile Alabama

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Dear Amber,
 
My name is … with the McGovern Institute for Brain Research at MIT (web link here). This month, we are celebrating our tenth anniversary. At this event, our director, Robert Desimone, will give a talk to a large audience about our mission to understand the brain in health and disease. I have been looking for compelling images to illustrate the gravity of psychiatric illnesses such as schizophrenia and I came across your very moving gallery on gaining-insight.com.
 
 
 
Would you possibly be willing/interested in giving us permission to use your 'psychiatric' painting image in Robert Desimone's talk? Thanks very much and I look forward to hearing back from you.

McGovern Institute for Brain Research at MIT: Understanding the Brain in Health and Disease

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FIGHTING STIGMA IN THE CLASSROOM

So much to write about but no time to do it :( Still searching for balance while I juggle a new baby, work and well, life! Of course baby comes first, so I apologize for the lack of posts. However, I seem to be getting closer to my dream of fight stigma in the classroom. I received a wonderful email from a publishing company in Australia. They contacted me to ask permission to use the poster (to the left) in a school textbook titled VCE Psychology Units 3 & 4, 4th edition. I was so honored that I had to say yes. To top it off, this poster will be printed in 50,000 textbooks. To think that my little poster could make an impact on students...I am beyond trilled!

In lieu of compensation, I asked the publishing company if they could donate to a mental health charity. They graciously donated $100 to Australia's Sane.org. "SANE Australia is a national charity working for a better life for people affected by mental illness – through campaigning, education and research." If you have a chance, check

out their site. This organization continues to do so much for the

mental health community in Australia. Also, thank you to all my readers who voted and made my blog a top ten blog (see award in right hand column). This will inspire me to keep on blogging!

MEL GIBSON: JUST ANOTHER STATISTIC

As soon as I heard about Mel Gibson's disturbing phone recordings, I was reminded of the statistic that 1 in 4 people are affected by a mental illness (most without even knowing). I then read the following article. I wonder how many other Mel's are out.

Now I am not here to diagnose Mel, but his seemingly off balanced demeanor forces me to look further at the people I have met over the years. I have encountered many people with obvious personality and/or mental flaws (myself included). I am not using the word "flaw" in a negative way, rather to show that something was a bit off or bothering the person. Some of these people I am related to. After my brother became sick, it forced me to evaluate whether there was more undiagnosed illness running in the family. What makes me sad is that most people with paranoid thoughts are so quick to point the finger that they won't detect any imbalance within themselves.

Some family feuds are fueled by mental instability (no matter how small or large the imbalance). Others have attributed there rocky upbringing to undiagnosed mental illness within the family. To this day, I avoid confrontation because I am reminded of the fights that occurred while growing up. Then my OCD kicks in. It causes me to overanalyze things (or find a solution to a problem). I would act as the mediator and attempt to fix the family. This can take a toll on a person. You feel like you are carrying 1,000 pounds of crap that you do not own. So I am trying to accept that not every problem has a solution.

My energy will be spent on raising my child in a home where he feels safe and secure. He will not carry my burden. But I do hope that in the future, these less severe forms of mental illness can be detected by the individual. It takes a lot of courage to evaluate one's self and even more courage to seek help. We can encourage mental health by increasing awareness (and empathy). Thank you for taking to time to sample a rambling mind.

Thought I should post a response I made after reading Amanda's comment (since it relates to the above post): "Amanda...Very well said!! I agree that many are passed off as eccentric. People should look at mental illness in a positive light. Many famous people may not be famous if it wasn't for a metal imbalance. Howard Hughes may not have been as successful with a "NORMAL" mind. If we don't say the words MENTAL ILLNESS or give it a label, then we will never strip away the stigma, thus, the discrimination will continue. I love those who are different/eccentric. They push the boundaries or what we THINK is normal!"

MIA: FORGIVE ME FOR MY ABSENCE

I think you will see from the video/pictures below why I have been absent from blogging. Lucas was born at the end of April and continues to remind me that life is beautiful in every possible way. I hope to be back soon!

BRING CHANGE 2 MIND

I hope you will take a moment to navigate through the following website. I believe the campaign was partially developed by Glen Close (she has a sister with bipolar). Like myself, their mission is to stamp out stigma. Luckily, they are reaching a much larger audience since they have the help of celebrity. I like how they use the approach of wearing the name of their disorder/association. It shows that they have no fear. We must make these words mundane in order to strip away the stereotypes and misconceptions. I hope one day to reach as many people with my message. Let's keep fighting!

CAN MENTAL ILLNESS BE DELAYED

OR PREVENTED?

With only a few weeks to go before I can meet my baby boy, I am starting to notice I will be a protective mommy. One of the facts that I just have to face in life is that mental illness runs in my family. As most of you know, these illnesses overlap so family members will not experience the same illness or to the same degree. My brother seems to have the most debilitating form of mental illness out of anyone in the family. So, I am one who fully supports prevention or delayed onset of illness through proper nutrition and education. Some may say I am being over cautious but I am thankful to have a family who is educated and open about mental illness. I know I can't CONTROL life, but certainly, I can derail or alter certain things.

When I became pregnant, I was overwhelmed with joy. But my obsessive thoughts soon created anxiety and tension. I thought, what if I pass this genetic link onto my son? It took a while to get over the guilt and realize that as horrible as this disease can be, my husband and I would get through it as a team. Throughout my pregnancy I made sure I took more than enough EPA, DHA, vitamin D and choline. I am sick of egg sandwiches (eggs are high in choline). All of these supplements can aid in healthy brain development. I figure, he will be in-utero only once, so I better do it right. My husband and I eat organic and all natural where ever possible since cancer is very prominent in his family. It is amazing how much of our foods are laced with man made chemicals. Who knows what effects these chemicals have on our precious, human tissue. The following article sheds light on the positive effects fish oil may have on mental illness.

I promise not to worry too much but I will be aware. I feel that being prepared with the right tools or being able to notice early symptoms may result in a better outcome later in life. I guess this is what it feels like to be a mother:)

WHEN CRIES FOR HELP ARE LEFT UNANSWERED

The following story sent chills down my spine since it hit way to close to home. I am happy that the family made this statement:

"We may never know why he made this terrible decision," it said. "One thing is clear though — his actions were caused by an illness and not a defective character."

When my brother was missing in Italy, we were baffled by the laws which prevent a family from making decisions for their very ill family member. Josh had been missing for days when we finally received the call that he was back in Rome. We thought GREAT, now he is safe. Unfortunately, he could not be kept against his will even though he was clearly sick and could not make rational decisions on his own. I would never wish that experience on my worst enemy. There is really nothing to compare it to other than sheer helplessness.

So when I read the article above, I completely could relate to how the family must have felt in their situation. I have been there when my brother begged my mom to call the FBI because of his delusions/hallucinations. I have heard the pain in my mother's voice as she told me how my brother handed her a knife to put under her bed because he was certain someone might break in the house. I remember the stomach pains I felt when my parents pleaded with the hospital to take my brother in after he tried to run out of their car only feet from oncoming traffic because he thought bombs were headed for them. I can tell you that the torture is felt on both ends. Why must our cries for help be ignored when we are the ones living through the chaos. We are the voice of reason yet no one will listen. The law only seems to matter when it is far too late. This will always sadden me.

In my opinion, there are many flaws when it comes to the mental health system. It can't be all or nothing. Mental illness is not black and white. I wish that these laws allowed for flexibility so that the family could intervene. I know these stories of mental illness and violence are rare but when publicized, they affect the publics' perception in a very negative way. They only hear about these rare instances and assume ALL people living with mental illness must be violent. Sorry to sound like a broken record, but education on the subject is in great need if we want to see change. The public may only see the unfortunate violence which results from mental illness but they really need to be aware of the mental illness itself and what it can do to individuals who are suffering? What about these victims? My heart goes out to the officers who were involved in the shooting as well as the family who did not need to loose a son. This unfortunate incident could have been prevented.

"THE CRAZIES"

(MOVIE TITLE OR MOST OF HOLLYWOOD)

When you decide to fight stigma, you find that the media is your worst enemy. When it comes to mental illness, Hollywood writers fuel fear in the public by relying on sensationalism and discrimination. The latest film to misrepresent mental illness is "The Crazies". Usually, I am surprised by the layers of discrimination within a film but in this case, the title says it all. I want you to watch the following trailer and read the film's description below (the film's website is here). I would love to hear what you think about this issue. In my opinion, it will take years of education at a student level (part of the reason I am working on my documentary). Maybe then will our future Hollywood directors and writers think twice before they stigmatize millions of people dealing with mental illness. We all can hope but we must keep fighting!

"A husband and wife in a small Midwestern town find themselves battling for survival as their friends and family descend into madness in The Crazies...Unable to trust former neighbors and friends, deserted by the authorities and terrified of contracting the illness themselves, they are forced to band together in a nightmarish struggle for survival." –www.thecrazies-movie.com

"About the inhabitants of a small Iowa town suddenly plagued by insanity and then death after a mysterious toxin contaminates their water supply." –IMDB.com

J.D. SALINGER: RIP

One of my favorite authors, J.D. Salinger, has passed away at the age of 91. I fell in love with his book "Catcher in the Rye" after reading it in 8th or 9th grade. So much so that I read it a second time years later. 

""Catcher" presents the world as an ever-so-unfair struggle between the goodness of young people and the corruption of elders, a message that only intensified with the oncoming generation gap."  

The following quote, from the book, describes the main character beautifully as well as the title:

"I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this big field of rye and all. Thousands of little kids, and nobody's around - nobody big, I mean - except me. And I'm standing on the edge of some crazy cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff - I mean if they're running and they don't look where they're going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That's all I'd do all day. I'd just be the catcher in the rye and all. I know it's crazy, but that's the only thing I'd really like to be. I know it's crazy."

Looking back now, I think my obsession with this book stemmed from my fascination with childhood innocence. I have always felt this need to protect children from the harsh realities of adulthood. If I really want to dig deeper, I could say that my childhood experience with family feuding may have caused me to recoil from any confrontation at all costs. We can not choose the environments we grow up in but parents must realize that their actions can have lasting effects on a child's future. Now I am not saying you should shelter a child from every bad thing in the world, but some children are more sensitive than others. I feel it is my duty to protect my brother from his illness since I can't bear to see him in pain. We often say that Josh may have always been unequip to handle the harsh realities of adulthood. Now that he is burdened with a chronic illness, I would do anything to bring him back to the days when life was so easy for him, as a child. When he first got ill, he often made comments about life being much easier and enjoyable and a kid. 

I am not a therapist, but being subjected to fights within the family/in-laws as a child was something I NEVER had any control of. As an adult, if I loose control, I have a very difficult time adjusting. I wonder if this stems from my childhood or the fact that I analyze everything:) I am not angry at my parents because the majority of the time, they were wonderful and supportive. The only issue I had was that they involved the children in their confrontation even though it had nothing to do with us. When you develop a great sensitivity to confrontation, those early experiences can never be erased. Maybe this is why I won't judge a serial killer or someone whose actions may have been triggered by an extremely abusive upbringing. We must remember that every effect has a cause.  

What's ironic about "Catcher in the Rye" is how one man, with schizophrenia (an illness that robs someone of reality), felt that this book gave him reason to kill John Lennon.

"The cult of "Catcher" turned tragic in December 1980 when crazed Beatles fan Mark David Chapman shot and killed John Lennon, citing Salinger's novel as an inspiration and stating that "this extraordinary book holds many answers." 

At the time of the murder, Chapman was clearly unmedicated and unaware of his troubled mind. He has been in prison since 1981 after he changed his plea from insanity to guilty. Some believe that his illness may have resulted from his troubled childhood. Chapman was very sensitive to the anger his parents had towards each other. The physical abuse may have intruded upon his normal development. As a result, he escaped to a fantasy world. I wonder if Chapman became obsessed with Holden Caufield's character since he too was looking for someone to protect him. 

I thank J.D. Salinger for his contributions to the literary world. He will never be forgotten. I will end with one of my favorite quotes:

"Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up." –Pablo Picasso